Comments on: The Shame of the Indian Male http://anilcherukupalli.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/ A little bit of everything Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:21:41 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: SM http://anilcherukupalli.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/comment-page-1/#comment-182215 SM Mon, 09 Nov 2009 02:09:31 +0000 http://arthedains.com/indiaunplugged/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/#comment-182215 Love this article. Tagging it on facebook for others to read. Thanks for writing this piece. Love this article. Tagging it on facebook for others to read. Thanks for writing this piece.

]]> By: Dipanjali http://anilcherukupalli.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/comment-page-1/#comment-182214 Dipanjali Tue, 30 Dec 2008 00:35:10 +0000 http://arthedains.com/indiaunplugged/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/#comment-182214 Hmm..I think this is definitely a combination of segregation of the genders, which allows dehumanization of a woman, and a manifestation of the status of a woman in India. Anil is correct in saying it is not just the uneducated who indulge in such shameful practices - I have met several educated, liberal men who don't think twice before being sexist, and are unapologetic when it is pointed out to them. My mother was doing an article of portrayal of women in the media and she found in her research (not surprisingly) that most ads featured women at home, and as a wife or a mother, promoting cleaning products. Research that I did of Australian advertisements has similar results. Women were featured only in the capacity of a mother or a wife, and never in ads of, for example, insurance, banking products, software products (or other 'important' areas). The bottom line is that mostly, with a few exceptions, women are not taken seriously. At the work place, men would talk to my body parts rather than to me. On a celebration of International Women's Day at work, we were asked to cook and bring in food or any 'crafts' that we made. Two of my like minded colleagues complained to our bewildered HR manager who saw absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating womens day with the very sterotype women were fighting against. In India, women are things - to be looked at, to be pawed, to be used and abused, to be married off, and to be married to. Men, no matter what status, education, or position in life, are ALWAYS superior by virtue of being men. My doorman at work would ignore me and treat me like he would not dare treat a male colleague. All because he was male and I female. I think that sums up the male mentality in India. Hmm..I think this is definitely a combination of segregation of the genders, which allows dehumanization of a woman, and a manifestation of the status of a woman in India. Anil is correct in saying it is not just the uneducated who indulge in such shameful practices – I have met several educated, liberal men who don’t think twice before being sexist, and are unapologetic when it is pointed out to them. My mother was doing an article of portrayal of women in the media and she found in her research (not surprisingly) that most ads featured women at home, and as a wife or a mother, promoting cleaning products. Research that I did of Australian advertisements has similar results. Women were featured only in the capacity of a mother or a wife, and never in ads of, for example, insurance, banking products, software products (or other ‘important’ areas).

The bottom line is that mostly, with a few exceptions, women are not taken seriously. At the work place, men would talk to my body parts rather than to me. On a celebration of International Women’s Day at work, we were asked to cook and bring in food or any ‘crafts’ that we made. Two of my like minded colleagues complained to our bewildered HR manager who saw absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating womens day with the very sterotype women were fighting against.

In India, women are things – to be looked at, to be pawed, to be used and abused, to be married off, and to be married to. Men, no matter what status, education, or position in life, are ALWAYS superior by virtue of being men. My doorman at work would ignore me and treat me like he would not dare treat a male colleague. All because he was male and I female. I think that sums up the male mentality in India.

]]> By: Ambika http://anilcherukupalli.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/comment-page-1/#comment-182213 Ambika Fri, 12 Dec 2008 18:47:51 +0000 http://arthedains.com/indiaunplugged/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/#comment-182213 I came across this article while researching cultural norms for my upcoming trip to India (I wanted to stay in keeping with what is normal and usually public behavior). I have to say that as I have been researching I come across a lot of information about this sort of thing going on in India.At first I could hardly believe it and thought it a rare occurence but I'm finding so much information about it I'm beginning to become uneasy about my trip. I came across this article while researching cultural norms for my upcoming trip to India (I wanted to stay in keeping with what is normal and usually public behavior). I have to say that as I have been researching I come across a lot of information about this sort of thing going on in India.At first I could hardly believe it and thought it a rare occurence but I’m finding so much information about it I’m beginning to become uneasy about my trip.

]]> By: bb http://anilcherukupalli.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/comment-page-1/#comment-182212 bb Tue, 21 Oct 2008 14:17:34 +0000 http://arthedains.com/indiaunplugged/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/#comment-182212 Indian males are truly a bunch of repressed, cruel, repulsive schmucks. While I could have prefaced the comment with a lot of nuanced thought and apologies for breaking the bounds of political and civil correctness, my statement rings true plain and simple. There are some days I just refuse to leave the house so I don't have to deal with them, or drive amidst them. The abuse transcends wardrobes as we all know because I can wear a loose, long sleeved t-shirt and jeans and get harassed, while a fat woman in a sari with her stomach and bra-less breasts hanging out in full view will be totally ignored. South India is comparatively less painless when it comes to daily sexual harassment, humiliation and completely lack of privacy as a citizen but this doesn't mean that the scores of leching pricks on the streets of chennai, bangalore or trivandrum are absolved of blame. I don't know what it is about the upbringing of the indian male, something translates cross-culturally to ensure that whether raised in India or abroad, indian men are vile manifestations of paternalism and sexism. No wonder they're always de-sexualized in world media. Indian males are truly a bunch of repressed, cruel, repulsive schmucks. While I could have prefaced the comment with a lot of nuanced thought and apologies for breaking the bounds of political and civil correctness, my statement rings true plain and simple. There are some days I just refuse to leave the house so I don’t have to deal with them, or drive amidst them. The abuse transcends wardrobes as we all know because I can wear a loose, long sleeved t-shirt and jeans and get harassed, while a fat woman in a sari with her stomach and bra-less breasts hanging out in full view will be totally ignored.

South India is comparatively less painless when it comes to daily sexual harassment, humiliation and completely lack of privacy as a citizen but this doesn’t mean that the scores of leching pricks on the streets of chennai, bangalore or trivandrum are absolved of blame. I don’t know what it is about the upbringing of the indian male, something translates cross-culturally to ensure that whether raised in India or abroad, indian men are vile manifestations of paternalism and sexism. No wonder they’re always de-sexualized in world media.

]]> By: Anil http://anilcherukupalli.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/comment-page-1/#comment-182240 Anil Sat, 26 Jan 2008 10:45:37 +0000 http://arthedains.com/indiaunplugged/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/#comment-182240 Rafi: I agree it is something of a Catch-22 situation. But even if society is to blame for its conservative mindset and the resulting frustration among men that should not be used as an excuse to condone molestation. It is just not done to grab or grope a woman. Can you imagine a woman grabbing a man's crotch in public? So why should men do it? Talk to her and if you have the courage and confidence ask her out but please no lewd comments. Well, if not anything I'd say the situation in the bigger cities is a bit better than before vis a vis dating. It is not that difficult to meet with the opposite sex these days. And I don't quite agree with you on the "what is life with out having an affair before marriage" part. It does make you any less of a man/woman if you are a virgin when you get married. Rafi: I agree it is something of a Catch-22 situation. But even if society is to blame for its conservative mindset and the resulting frustration among men that should not be used as an excuse to condone molestation. It is just not done to grab or grope a woman. Can you imagine a woman grabbing a man’s crotch in public? So why should men do it?

Talk to her and if you have the courage and confidence ask her out but please no lewd comments. Well, if not anything I’d say the situation in the bigger cities is a bit better than before vis a vis dating. It is not that difficult to meet with the opposite sex these days. And I don’t quite agree with you on the “what is life with out having an affair before marriage” part. It does make you any less of a man/woman if you are a virgin when you get married.

]]> By: Arasu Balraj http://anilcherukupalli.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/comment-page-1/#comment-182211 Arasu Balraj Thu, 24 Jan 2008 05:24:27 +0000 http://arthedains.com/indiaunplugged/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/#comment-182211 spellbound to hear this news and to read anniezaidi's elegy. felt the resolve getting rigid inside. //But this fight you’ve fought, I’ll fight to the death// spellbound to hear this news and to read anniezaidi’s elegy. felt the resolve getting rigid inside.

//But this fight you’ve fought, I’ll fight to the death//

]]> By: Rafi ahmed http://anilcherukupalli.com/blog/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/comment-page-1/#comment-182239 Rafi ahmed Sun, 20 Jan 2008 21:49:03 +0000 http://arthedains.com/indiaunplugged/2008/01/20/the-shame-of-the-indian-male/#comment-182239 i have lived a couple of years in hongkong and china, i have seen girls walking alone in shenzhen in the mid night. In my view, it is because of our culture. the more some thing is supressed, the more it likely to explode with out control. i see hundreds of guys looking for girls on internet, they claim they are software engineers, have money, good job, but no one to love them or share life with, I am 32, software engineer, single and unmarried. i have no girl friend , i spend my weekends at home and fed up with boring life myself. I want to spend few hours with a girl may be go out to drink a tea or cofee and make new friends. but the big question is where to find her. they are not found on streets, not in internet classfieds, not in work place. so what choice people are left with. just hang on streets and make comments. i know you will say get married. good enough. how to know whether the girl you are made to marry is have some thing in common with out knowing the person. we are made to blindly marry with out knowing each other and later get into affairs with office colleages and that never admitted. well do not blame on people who do it, blame on the society which made them to do it. people are not born thieves or rapists, society turns into them. if some thing is wrong in people, should try to find out why those people are doing that . we all know the problem, over protective brothers and dads. try to give freedom to your daughters and sisters, its their life. even they made mistakes, they learn from them. what the life with out having an affair before marrieage, life is not suppose to be perfect, if it is then it is boring. i can say a lot, may be some agree and some do not. its their freedom and choice. so let it be. we all can not eat daily same food, so why tie to one partner. i have lived a couple of years in hongkong and china, i have seen girls walking alone in shenzhen in the mid night. In my view, it is because of our culture. the more some thing is supressed, the more it likely to explode with out control.

i see hundreds of guys looking for girls on internet, they claim they are software engineers, have money, good job, but no one to love them or share life with, I am 32, software engineer, single and unmarried.

i have no girl friend , i spend my weekends at home and fed up with boring life myself. I want to spend few hours with a girl may be go out to drink a tea or cofee and make new friends.

but the big question is where to find her. they are not found on streets, not in internet classfieds, not in work place. so what choice people are left with. just hang on streets and make comments.

i know you will say get married. good enough. how to know whether the girl you are made to marry is have some thing in common with out knowing the person. we are made to blindly marry with out knowing each other and later get into affairs with office colleages and that never admitted.

well do not blame on people who do it, blame on the society which made them to do it. people are not born thieves or rapists, society turns into them.

if some thing is wrong in people, should try to find out why those people are doing that . we all know the problem, over protective brothers and dads.

try to give freedom to your daughters and sisters, its their life. even they made mistakes, they learn from them. what the life with out having an affair before marrieage, life is not suppose to be perfect, if it is then it is boring.

i can say a lot, may be some agree and some do not. its their freedom and choice. so let it be.

we all can not eat daily same food, so why tie to one partner.

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