Electric Dreams
by Anil
308 viewsI celebrate life
In electric dreams
Jumping over elemental mountains
Swimming under DNA fountains
Serendipity beckons
With a nod
Of her electronic head
“Let us praise blind vision
Let us raise atomic fission�?
A procession
Of gods and demi-gods
Like broken lightning rods
In the dark
Withdrawn stimuli
Lead the way
To the neighborhood park
A smell
Of metallic urine
And soft shit
Comments
there was that industrial tone to it again, and then you ended it with such abrupt violence. the effect was quite dramatic. you pulled it of brilliantly, anil.
A procession
Of gods and demi-gods
Like broken lightning rods
there is something so despondent about this! despondency in garish make-up and blue lights.
“Jumping over elemental mountains
Swimming under DNA fountains”
So free-spirited those verses
Succint & so meaningful.
Let us praise blind vision
Let us raise atomic fission
ya we shud ofcourse praise blind vision
but raise atomic fission ???
Dark again. Reminds me of all the sci-fi about machines and Armageddon, though this is a lyric masterpiece.
so pretty with a shock ending. i love the suprise.
and i find you…its been long :-)
transience: thank you so much..I’m glad you like these ‘industrial tones’ of mine…this poem is particularly close to my heart….
gulnaz: I guess it comes from me being an atheist…to put it simply I do not like organised religion…I’m glad you caught the blue tint though!
samudra: a warm welcome to you here and thank you very much…
paddy: a warm welcome to you too…ah, but that was ‘serendipity’ speaking…not me..and that is also the reason for the quotes…and in the end these are dreams so almost anything goes in them!!
Mermaid: wow! you can find me glowing here..thank you so much! did I tell you that I love sci-fi? I repay my debt to that wonderful, wonderful genre whenever I can…
stella: *smiles*…thank you!
dewdrop: *grins* I know…so you found this little space of mine…wonderful to have an old face here! make yourself at home!
this reminds me of hip hop poetry. did you ever hear of poetry slam. well i love this kind of poetry because it’s so intense and read with such passion. this would be a great one to read out loud.
Whoo, what a kinesthetic ride! Atomic subterfuge. Blind fission. Metallic turd ignominy.Talk about singing the body electric!
Give me some smelling salts for this one, Anil. Bravo!
lorena: hmm…not sure I do but I think I can guess what you are hinting at…but I’m intrigued to know that this reminded you of hip-hop…was it bcos of the rhythm or the structure? I’d love to have this read out..maybe you should someday!
finnegan: guess what? I came across Whitman’s poem if I remember correctly after I had written this…was surprised to see how much my poem owes to his!
and thank you very much…you give me a high with your ecstatic words!